PurpleMidLuv: I Fell In Love Just For a Plan

Title: I Fell in love just for a plan!
Author: PurpleMidLove and NikuroAi
Story URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/16245/i-fell-in-love-just-for-a-plan-donghae-taestal-yoona-yoonhae
Reviewer: Cho

Title: 4/5

I loved the title it was attractive for me to keep on continuing to read the story. Firstly when I read your title I was like “What thought of plans are they going to come up with?” and “How will they fall in love because of the plan?” those things just kept on coming out of my mind. It was most of all well linked to the story as well!
Poster/Background: 9 /10

Eh? Why 1 mark is down, I think you also have a mistake on your poster how it says “It all started on a stupid plan!” which I think it’s suppose to be “It all started with a stupid plan!” I think this is what it was supposed to say instead of ‘on’ it should have been ‘with’. The characters were alright on the poster and the colours were wonderfully done. I loved it. If it wasn’t the mistakes I found it would have been a full mark for the posters! 
Description/Foreword:10 /10
Oh wow! How I just love your description and the Foreword! It was funny and how you described the characters were funny as well. When you first wrote brats I thought it was girls you were talking about but when I read it you were referring to the boys Taemin, Thunder and Dongho which was good! After the ‘!!!???’ you don’t put an “AND” maybe you should have wrote it  “already making a move on her sister?! But the worst thing is…” and continue on with that. “A plan was made! which…” suppose to use the Capitol letter! “A plan was made! Which…” after the ‘!’ always start back with an capitol letter. After that you put BUT! A lot but after the BUT! Start with an Capitol letter. ^^ Just becareful of those mistakes.

The genre says it’s romance and comedy and I can see and feel that it is a comedy story just by reading your funny description of your characters!

Plot: 13/15

Damn, I already found a mistake on the first sentence which is not good.”When Dongho said it with an unpleasant voice that Taemin hates” (.) where did the full stop go? Becareful of the small little mistakes you do, try proof reading it when you finish and see if you have any mistakes because right now everything is alright except for the little mistakes you made.

When dongho spoke to the two guys didn’t you mean by “Guys” not “Gays”
Also, after you write a quote if you are going to write another quote start on a new line, because it kind of confuses me.
For example: “Dongho-ah, come here!” Chun doong screamed out,
“Okay hyung!”
Like this, if you write it all together, I get confused like who is talking to who at the moment and don’t you think it looks messy in some other way?

This is just an example of what you did.
“Come here!” “Ok!” “What are we suppose to do now?” “Run!!”
This is just my example, the RUN!! Is from some park of your story in chapter one! Because I really loved that part.
But if you write it like that, don’t you think the readers are going to get confused?

Creativity/Originality: 13/15

I thought it was pretty much original that this was from your own ideas and imaginations which I mostly like. You putting Krystal as Yoona’s sister when actually she’s Jessica’s and making the story in a lot different way as the others. I never read this kind of stories before so it’s a good thing for you and me isn’t it? Haha. I like your style of the story! Can’t wait to read more of it!

Flow: 8/10

The flow of the story is good and well done that I am giving you a full mark! The continuation is good! You don’t look like you’re rushing when you’re writing the story! One thing that I don’t like is that you change the colours too much and some colours just hurt my eyes from reading so if you are going to change the colours, please change the colours to somewhat dark colours. Maybe it’s just me again, but like those pink colours you use was so light that it hurted my eyes. Why not use just one colour also? That could be much better.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 5/10

I did mention some mistakes at the beginning just hope you fix that and know what you wrote wrong or did wrong. The thing I spotted out to you is the only mistakes that I found. The paragraphs were fine but hey, the quotes, what they say please start with a new line! Put full stop at the right place and the commas! As I said, proof read if you proof read then I bet you won’t have any small mistake like this.

“You” Yoona fake a smiled and slap Nichhkhun’s back.
Should be “You!” Yoona faked a smile and slapped Nichkhun’s back, “You’re joking right?”

This is the mistake I found again on the fifth chapter. There are a lot of mistake seen in most of all the chapters so that I can’t really, point everything out to you.

Characterisation: 10 /10

This one I can give you the full mark as I said you describe your characters really well in a funny way which I really love.
They really are like that in the story as well which is mostly a good thing and not making the readers not confused of the characters.
It was just a good job.

Writing Style:8 /10

I loved your writing style but as I said, please stop changing the colours but if you want change it to a darker colour than the light ones because it really hurted my eyes. Also, you change the font as well… can I ask you this? Why do you change them? It would be much better if you used the same font and the style and the colour just everything the same. I hope you can find the right font and the colour for your story because I can see that you are putting all different colours when a new paragraph comes…

Overall Enjoyment:5 /5

I enjoyed reading it especially those three guys Taemin Thunder and Dongho was the most funniest guys in your story. I laughed a lot while reading your story! That I will give you the full mark for this part…

Extras:4/5

Because Taemin, Thunder and Dongho are my biases in those group, and the laugh you gave me.
With a short sorry for doing the late review^^
Total:89 /105

Reviewer’s Note: Firstly, I’m so sorry for doing the review late. Secondly I will subscribe to your story and lastly hope you like my honest review for your story! As I didn’t mention all the mistakes if you want me to tell you the mistakes after you reading your story and that you can’t find one. You can always WALL me on Asianfanfics that I can tell you which mistakes you made^^ because I think I’ve found a lot in your story. If you read it I hope you can find those mistakes^^! Thank you!