Story Title: I Love You and I Love You
Author: Rifa_Suju
Profile Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/8007
Title 3/5
The title doesn’t really show much connection to the plot except, of course, for the love and affection that the characters feel for each other. Also, it isn’t that catchy. Your story is really great, I’m telling you. If you hadn’t applied for a review, I wouldn’t really click on it because, like I said, the title is not that catchy..
Foreword/Description 8/10
Only a description was given and it wasn’t that descriptive. Also, I found some spelling/grammar errors so I omitted some points.
Originality (Plot and Character Personalities) 13/15
Not completely new and original because other stories also contain plots such as the boy being a kingka and the girl not liking him and all.
Flow 9/10
It’s cool how Yuna slowly softened towards Junhyung and how Junhyung slowly changed his perspective on Yuna. It wasn’t that quick and that slow.
Writing Style 19/20
Understandable and it’s good that you give descriptions when the characters talk. It is easier to visualize the scenes.
Grammar 21/25
Here are some of the errors that I located.
Who Will She Choose?
Correction: Whom Will She Choose?
Explanation: It refers to a direct object. Change it to active form: She will choose ______. The objective form should be used. Who is in subjective form.
Miss Kim please raise up your hand
Correction: Delete the “up”
Explanation: It sounds redundant since raising already goes upward.
I located a lot of errors concerning the tense of the verb. Remember:
In regular verbs, add –d or –ed.
Example: raise=raised, talk=talked, look=looked, skip=skipped
However, irregular verbs might be confusing since a change in the spelling is needed.
Example: sit=sat, see=saw, catch=caught, think=thought, teach=taught
So I kinda used to Korea streets
Correction: So I’m kinda used to the streets of Korea.
Explanation: It shows the state of knowing the streets of a certain country so you need to use the linking verb “am”.
What his name again...?
Correction: What’s his name again?
Explanation: You want to know what his name IS.
These are only some. The most common mistakes I’ve seen were the tenses of the verbs and punctuations. Remember to put a period after a statement.
Overall Enjoyment 15/15
Totally cool. :D Told ya, I really like your story. Most of the point deductions are because of grammar errors.
Bonus Points 2
For making me hooked up to it so much :D And for being patient ne. J)
Total Score: 90/100
Author’s Note:
Hi! Sorry for taking up a long time doing this x_x
And yeah, if you want me to give you complete editions of your work, I can be your editor ^^
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